10 April 2013
So I just realized that it has been over two months since my last entry, and while many may not have noticed, apparently my aunt did, so Aunt J, this one's for you. ;)
The last we spoke, I had just come back from Thailand, and had written up about half of the trip. Since then...
The children have come back from winter vacation. I have gotten together with other expat friends out of town a few times. I have started baking my own bread at home because you just cannot find decent whole wheat bread in Korea (seriously, it's impossible). The only reason I actually have whole wheat flour is thanks to iherb.com. I am a little in love with that website. I have helped organize and enjoy two movie marathons (one 90s, one 80s, not to mention the upcoming Lord of the Rings Extravaganza) at a friend's apartment in a neighboring town because it has been just TOO DARN COLD to do anything outside (and I love movies!). In related news, I have frozen my bum off due to the endless winter on the peninsula; seriously, it's April, Korean Winter! It's time to let go! We have bought a tiny 1999 Daewoo Matiz in which to toodle around town and the Korean countryside. I have lent my voice to a character in a video game produced by local expat game designers (so much fun). I have started to workout fairly consistently at the local community center where they open the windows to let the freezing cold air in to ... to...... I really don't know why they do this; if someone could explain this to me in such a way as to help me overcome my annoyance at this apparently common nationwide behavior, I would really appreciate it. I have also been trying to keep my hand in the craft of acting by volunteering my time to read sections of public domain books for librivox.org - the recordings of which I have not yet posted as I can't help constantly analyzing and re-recording them in an effort to produce the best possible product (*shakes fist in the air, screaming at perfectionism and OCD tendencies in general*). Did I mention it's been really cold?
And now I am trying to reassure my friends and family back home, and admittedly, in rare weak moments, myself, that the U.S. media is trying to terrify its audience about the situation in North Korea much more than they should. I actually asked one of the Korean English teachers in our office what he thought about the situation as business seems to be going on as usual all around me. He said they are used to this kind of thing A) every year around the time the U.S. and South Korea participate in war games, and B) whenever a new South Korean president is elected (like this year). He said he wasn't worried about it and advised me not to be either. Of course, with the U.S. news sites that I follow to stay abreast of what's happening at home constantly flashing bolded headlines proclaiming how close the two halves of Korea are coming to a nuclear catastrophe and other things about N.K.'s "bellicose" rhetoric, not to mention the constant barrage of these scary-sounding articles posted by fellow expats via Facebook, albeit half in jest (seriously guys, stop that!), one can't help but pause and wonder if I should be worried. And I do - "wonder" that is.
But then I remind myself that were I to allow myself to be the kind of person who lives in a spirit of constant fear; were I to ignore what I see with my own eyes and experience for myself; were I to worry all the time about "what if," I never would have married the Hubby, or gone to graduate school, or auditioned for anything, or moved to New York, or run a half marathon, or driven a car, or traveled anywhere but my own hometown in beautiful east Texas (as much as Mom and Daddy would have liked that). Psychotherapist Wayne Dyer said, "You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you." While I can't say that I won't ever regret actions I have taken in the past (I have to admit I regret eating way too much Mexican food with the girls in Seoul last weekend), I know that I will regret not having a courageous spirit, and I will regret consistently making decisions in life based on the bad things that might happen if I take one particular course of action as opposed to weighing the risks and focusing on the amazing experiences I will have if I choose that course. That being said, Mama didn't raise no fool, and please rest assured, family and friends, that should the need arise, we will hop into our newly acquired, little 1999 Daewoo Matiz and hightail it to the closest evacuation point, but until then, rather than trusting the sensationalist American media, I choose to trust in this...
"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Hopefully things will calm down here pretty soon. Hopefully spring will come and everyone on the peninsula will be in too good of a mood with the arrival of sunshine and flowers to make war. Maybe this is all winter's fault in the first place. I hope so.
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